But this wasn’t just a speech. No, this was a kind of political exorcism—one part self-congratulation, one part ghost story, and one part veiled attack on the shadowy tech overlords he believes are steering the nation into the inky abyss. As the cameras rolled, you could almost see the ghosts of presidencies past lurking in the wings, smirking as Biden unloaded one final shot across the bow.
A Warning: The New Tech Lords of America
Biden’s speech wasn’t subtle—nothing ever is at this stage of the game. He didn’t name names, but you didn’t need to be a psychic to see that he was aiming squarely at people like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. They’re not just running tech empires anymore—they’re crafting realities, shaping the flow of information, and tightening their grip on what he called the “foundations of democracy.”
“An oligarchy is taking shape,” Biden said, his voice tinged with that peculiar mix of Scranton steel and grandfatherly lament. He might as well have been holding up a flare gun, signaling to the American people, “Wake up! These tech bastards have their hands in your pockets and their algorithms in your brains.”
It was an echo of Eisenhower’s legendary warning in 1961, but this time, the generals had been swapped for billionaires with Twitter accounts. If Eisenhower feared tanks and missiles, Biden fears bots and misinformation. And maybe he’s right. Hell, maybe he’s late.
The Last Hurrah: Taking Credit for Chaos
Biden didn’t just offer warnings; he also did a little victory lap. The Israel-Hamas ceasefire? That was his doing—or so he claimed. It felt like a final attempt to burnish the resume before handing over the keys to the next man who’ll occupy that desk of so much power.
Climate change? Oh, he went there too. Biden pointed to the Inflation Reduction Act, heralding it as a turning point in the fight against planetary doom. Never mind that the planet’s still on fire, the polar bears are still drowning, and half the country thinks climate change is a Chinese hoax. This, my friends, is what victory looks like in 2025: a bloody, battered corpse of progress staggering out of the ring.
A Nation Adrift in Uncharted Waters
The most striking thing about Biden’s farewell wasn’t what he said but the way he said it. There was a certain air of resignation, a kind of reluctant admission that the America he inherited was already too far gone to save. His words dripped with melancholy, but beneath it all, there was also rage—rage at the billionaires, at the disinformation swamp, and maybe, just maybe, at himself.
